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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251354">what are you, a middle school librarian?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishpanda/pseuds/bookishpanda'>bookishpanda</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides Shorts [23]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Food mention, M/M, Mentions of Chronic Illness, librarian janus, middle school librarian Janus, teacher roman, very tiny mention of intrulogical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:34:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishpanda/pseuds/bookishpanda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janus is absolutely screwed, because he's fallen for one of his coworkers. A very annoying one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides Shorts [23]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what are you, a middle school librarian?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being a middle school librarian was, frankly, exhausting. Janus shooed the final kid out the door and locked it behind them, wanting to slump against the door and shut off all of the lights so that his migraine had a chance of escaping. Except he had to meet with the English faculty soon. He swore there wasn’t enough tea in the world for dealing with Roman Prince, the cockiest of the bunch.</p><p>It wasn’t that Roman was a bad teacher. Janus actually held him in the highest regards in that manner; he was excellent at promoting diverse, new materials and he kept his students engaged through acting exercises and relevant references. No, it was just that Roman was insufferably handsome and was absolutely aware of it. And Roman knew that Janus felt this way and preyed upon the librarian every single time they were in the same room. </p><p>The other faculty were none the wiser as Roman slid his hand along Janus’ bicep, the cardigan doing nothing to hide the grip of the English teacher. Janus wanted to smack him or kiss him (or maybe both), but instead he opted to sit at the head of the table, chin in his hand as he eyed the packet of materials he wanted to share with the faculty about new books and research strategies.</p><p>As far as meetings go, it was a short one, and the other teachers filed out quickly as it was, indeed, a Friday afternoon and they likely all had better things to do. Janus packed up his things quickly, ready to go home and make a fresh pot of tea and curl up with the mystery he had started at lunch time, his cat at his feet. When he looked up from one of his many book bags, Roman prince was leaning over the counter, a smirk on his face.</p><p>“Mr. Prince, if you don’t mind, I need to get going now,” he said, trying not to seem too frazzled about the fact that they were alone together in an empty library. Roman pursed his lips in thought and reached his hand out to take one of Janus’, before pressing his lips to the knuckles.</p><p>“Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight, Janus?” His voice was smooth and it reverberated throughout Janus’ whole body, and he tried to not appear flustered or blush at the interaction but it had been so long since anyone had openly flirted with the librarian that he was definitely aching for attention. “No strings. I just want to get to know you a bit better. Outside of the library and school, that is.”</p><p>“Roman,” Janus tried to keep the tone of his voice level as he pulled his hand away from Roman’s lips, instantly missing the feeling of having them on his skin. “You know the rules as well as I do, that the faculty of this school are not meant to have… extraneous relationships.”</p><p>“Relationships, no. But a friendship, yes. That is not frowned upon,” Roman said thoughtfully, as though he had refreshed his memory by reading the employee handbook earlier that day (he definitely had). “Unless you’re concerned that we wouldn't be able to remain just friends.”</p><p>Janus stammered over his thoughts. “I- No, that’s…” he trailed off, then finally nodded in agreement. “Alright, Roman. One dinner. And then I’ll decide if we can be friends.”</p><p>-</p><p>Janus was thankful that Roman didn’t choose some fancy, expensive restaurant for their night out. Not that two men who worked for a middle school could afford it anyways, but he didn’t think that his yellow cardigan, black button-up, and black slacks would cut it in a fancy setting. Except Roman… Janus’ eyes swept over the man. The teacher somehow always looked elegant, even in white jeans and a red shirt. Maybe it was the way that his curly hair swept over his forehead or the thin veneer of makeup that was always perfectly present on his face, but… Roman was always extra. And it was aggravating.</p><p>The librarian leaned his hand on his chin once he had settled into the booth. The diner was near the school and was a favorite stop of many students and faculty, and given that it was a Friday evening, it was rather busy. Several students that Janus recognized stared at the pair when they walked in, and Roman waved them off fancifully (leaving Janus to wonder if Roman ever did anything without that hint of theatricality). </p><p>An awkward silence had settled over the pair as they pored over their menus. Janus ran a hand through his hair almost fitfully before deciding it would be in his way and he threw it into a messy bun off the back of his head. When he glanced up, Roman’s eyes were fixed upon his hair, his face, and Janus wanted to run. He was always self-conscious working around kids who were brutally honest; but he could accept their blatancy when they pointed out the scars on the left side of his body. Adults were more sneaky about their glances, and he could always tell that they were feeling sympathy for him.</p><p>“Please do not stare at me,” Janus mumbled, meeting Roman’s eyes. The teacher stammered, looking back down at his menu, but not before Janus noticed a faint blush covering his counterpart’s cheeks. </p><p>“Sorry, I just… you put your hair up in that bun so effortlessly and it turned out beautiful,” Roman explained, and now Janus was the one who had to hide his blush. He said nothing though, and soon the waiter came over to take their drink orders.</p><p>“Can I get a cup of coffee, please? Bring over some milk and sugar with it, please,” Roman said, flashing a dazzling smile at them. “And a glass of water, if you don’t mind.” The waiter nodded at this, then looked over at Janus, who was thrown off by how polite Roman was to them.</p><p>“Uh, just water with lemon, please. Thank you,” Janus said, and the waiter walked off, leaving the two in quiet again. Janus glanced up at Roman, though, then decided to start up a conversation. “What did you do before you were an English teacher?”</p><p>“Well…” Roman set down his menu, resting his chin on his hand. “I went to school for theater, and did a lot of community theater while working in diners and at coffee shops. It was great, but… I couldn’t bear the hours of those jobs anymore. So… I went back to school to become a teacher. And during the summer I run a theater camp. Sometimes I’ll still do community shows.” Janus nodded at this, pursing his lips in thought. </p><p>“I was a theater major for my undergraduate,” he said, and Roman raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Yeah, I know. Surprising, right?” He sighed, “I was really focused on musical theory and directing. And then… I realized it wouldn’t be enough to support me. So I started working in a local library to help pay the bills, and from there I decided to go on to get a degree in library science so I could become a librarian. I shadowed a librarian at a middle school in my old town for a bit and decided that was my path forward,” he explained, and Roman nodded. “I miss theater, though. I miss the nerves before a show and the costumes. I miss a lot of it.”</p><p>“You could help out with theater camp next summer,” Roman suggested. Janus wanted to shake his head but he nodded instead, smiling faintly. It wasn’t a commitment, anyways. It was just a nod. “I wanted to be on Broadway someday, you know? See my name in the lights. Instead, I just see my name under students’ names on their properly formatted papers.”</p><p>“It’s not too late for you,” Janus’ words fell out before he could stop them, and he resisted the urge to reach out and take Roman’s hand in comfort. “What’s stopping you from flying off to New York right this second?”</p><p>“I…” Roman started, but faded away as the waiter brought back their drinks. The waiter asked for their meal orders. “Can I get the chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and green beans? Thanks.” Janus watched as Roman’s demeanor shifted from open and kind to more closed off, and tried to fight off the frown that he knew was trying to press through to his lips.</p><p>“I’ll have the soup and salad combo, with the broccoli cheddar soup and a cobb salad. Thank you,” he said, and the pair handed their menus off, then sat in silence once again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”</p><p>“I was about to leave for New York, once,” Roman said quietly, and Janus watched him intently. “I had a flight booked and a place to stay. But then… my brother got sick. He needed someone to take care of him so I… dropped everything. Picked up a second job so he didn’t need to work and I resigned myself to community theater.” Roman sighed, carding a hand through his curls. “He got better, thankfully, and now he’s married to this astronomer and they’re about to adopt a kid, and I’m so happy for him, but…”</p><p>“But you skipped out on your dreams for him,” Janus finished the sentence, knowing that Roman couldn’t, and the teacher nodded. “You deserve to have your dreams come true, Roman. I see you with those kids, you instill hope and passion in them. More than anyone else, you deserve to see your name in the lights.”</p><p>“Yeah, maybe,” Roman said thoughtfully, glancing out the window at the setting sun. “But I don’t know if that’s my dream anymore. I think… I would rather see one of those kids’ names up there and know that I’m the one that pushed them to reach for the sky.”</p><p>“That’s… incredibly selfless of you, Roman,” Janus said, and he was surprised at the truth of that sentence. Roman <em> was </em> a selfless man, risking his potential career as a Broadway star to take care of his brother, giving his all to make sure his students understand and are successful. It startled Janus, the depth that was behind Roman’s brown eyes, and he felt bad for resigning the man to his appearances.</p><p>The rest of the evening passed without much excitement, and as Janus drove away from the diner and towards his small apartment filled with books and cat hair and tea, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he would be unable to simply maintain a friendship with Roman Prince.</p><p>
  <b>-</b>
</p><p>“So I was thinking brunch,” Roman had stepped into the library soon after the final child had left for the day, startling Janus out of his alphabetization of books to reshelve. He glanced up at the teacher, a bewildered look probably masking his joy at seeing Roman.</p><p>“What?” He asked incredulously, not understanding what the other was getting at.</p><p>“For our next friendship outing. I know this great place that serves delicious crepes and they have a plethora of tea options, you’d love it,” Roman was babbling and Janus couldn’t help but stare at his glossed lips. He shook his head, trying to regain his sense of reality.</p><p>“Uh, Roman, I don’t know…” It wasn’t that Janus didn’t want to spend more time with Roman. He did. Desperately. It was all he could think about at night, in the shower, on his drive to work. Roman filled his every available moment of peace and it was too much because Janus couldn’t bear to just be friends with him.</p><p>“Not a fan of crepes? They have other stuff, too,” Roman started, not realizing what Janus was unsure of. “Or we could go to see a movie—”</p><p>“It’s not that. I just…” Janus took a deep breath, lifting his eyes to meet Roman’s. “I don’t know if I can be friends with you, Roman.” He watched as the teacher visibly deflated, as if all of the oxygen from his lungs had been forced out by that one sentence. “I like you a lot. <em>Too</em> <em>much</em>, I think. And I don’t think I could bear to just be coworkers and friends. I’d always… want more.”</p><p>“Oh,” Roman didn’t look up from staring at his hands. He appeared physically upset, and Janus just wanted to get up and hug him and comfort him but… it would be too much and not enough all at once. “You’re right. I just… you’re the first person I’ve known in a long time that I’ve connected with on a level this magnitude and… it sucks that we can’t explore that more.”</p><p>Janus glanced at the sentence he had just written down on a sticky note in front of him as he was going through his emails. A job opening at the public library. It paid better, had better benefits, and he was considering it greatly. He brushed his fingers against the bright yellow paper and then smiled, looking up at Roman.</p><p>“We may not be coworkers for much longer, though,” he said, watching as Roman’s eyes snapped up again to meet his. “There’s a job opening at the public library and I’ve been thinking about applying for it.”</p><p>“You should,” Roman breathed out, and Janus worried that he had instilled hope in the other; what if he didn’t get the job, and they would remain coworkers and remain unable to move forward from this? It was worth a shot, though, if they wanted to see what happiness could lay ahead of them. </p><p>-</p><p>Janus was pacing in front of the checkout counter. The last kid had left for the day and tomorrow was the last day before summer vacation. It had been a few weeks since his interview, and he just heard back.</p><p>Roman came in, his messenger bag in tow. The two had been avoiding each other in person so as to not risk anything but were texting constantly, and Janus had messaged him to come into the library after he had finished in his classroom for the day. Janus wanted to fling himself into Roman’s arms but he held himself back, instead waiting to watch as he sat on top of one of the tables.</p><p>“What’s up, Janus?” He asked calmly, though Janus noticed the twitch in the teacher’s fingers as he sat there. “Did you hear back from the job?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, I did,” he responded, not meeting Roman’s eyes. “They offered me the job.” </p><p>And then it was as if the world froze in time, Roman’s face was lit up with joy and admiration as he scooped Janus up into a warm hug, their embrace filling almost every need they’d both had for the past few weeks. </p><p>“I need to put in my notice, but… after that, um, do you want to go on a date with me, Roman?” Janus asked, stepping back because the touch was too much and if they stood that close any longer he’d be unable to resist the urge to connect their lips. And not that he didn’t think the middle school library wasn’t romantic, but… he wanted their first kiss to be more special than this. Roman nodded emphatically, then left as quickly as he came, allowing Janus to finish packing his bag for the day.</p><p>-</p><p>One week later, the pair sat on Janus’ couch after he made Roman dinner, their heads leaning against each other as a movie played on the television. But neither of them were paying it any attention, instead their eyes were locked on the way their fingers were intertwined between their laps, on the slow breathing of the other.</p><p>“Janus, I’d really love to kiss you, now,” Roman said quietly, and Janus hesitated. He had wished they had done something more romantic for their first date and now his cat was twining itself between their legs but Roman’s hand was at the base of his neck and then lips were on his and it was magical and wonderful and worth the wait. They’d have the chance for a million more romantic kisses and brunches and outings, and in that moment, Janus knew that this was something that would span his entire lifetime.</p>
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